How much we long for feelings of freedom, confidence to follow our dreams, and relief from troubled thoughts and emotions! I can at least say for myself that I´m an old-time friend with feelings of frustration of feeling stuck in my head, stuck in old patterns and self-image, self-blame and contempt for not moving forward in my life as I thought I should. I´ve felt overwhelmed, and longed for time and room to just meet myself, and maybe get one step closer to actually enjoying being with myself, gaining some freedom to just be. And so, I´ve been blessed. Recently I´ve had this gift of "time on my hands" and therefore also the gift of witnessing the turmoil of my feelings as they fluctuate through the days. And so I´ve studied the books of Mr. Eckhart Tolle to keep me as present and alert as I can through the moments. And as you already might now, it has a lot to do with acceptance.
I´ve "lived a question" since I was a young girl of how to practice the art of forgiving. More recently I´ve wondered what is the difference between accepting and forgiving? We´ve heard, we know, that it´s important to be able to let go of the old, to move forward. And keeping resentments instead of letting go, only hurts ourselves. But how to live it, how to do it?
Eckhart Tolle has given me good insights these days. He says that
- full attention means full accept (Tolle, 1997, s.169 ),
- forgiveness is realizing that the past lacks substance, whilst allowing the moment as it is (Tolle, 1997, s.175),
- the practise of non-resistance is forgiveness - by not reacting unconsciously with negativity through counterattack, defense or flight. It does´t mean that you can´t tell the person concerned that he/she is out of line if that´s the case, but through the practice of non-resistance you don´t put yourself in other peoples power and neither the power of your own mind, your ego (Tolle, 1997, s.187).
- "Nonresistance, nonjudgement, and nonattachment are the three aspects of true freedom and enlightened living." (Tolle, 2005, s.225)
Forgiveness and acceptance is important both concerning others and ourselves. But maybe the most transforming is to be able to accept and forgive ourselves, as this is often the key to meeting others with more compassion as well. Seeing ourselves and the moment completely as it is without judgement, resistance or identification/attachment, gives us more life and freedom and confidence. As we often judge others for our own shadows, it can also work to see ourselves in others, and not be so quick to judge and condemn as different and apart. We are all connected.
Ho’oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian healing method that encompasses this interconnectedness, giving us all radical responsibility for what happens around us and what we experience (McCafferty, 2014). The method facilitates forgiveness within us directed at our own God-self, thereby also healing our experience of the world, thereby the world. By repeating 4 sentences in meeting with an issue, powerful changes can take place. The sentences are: "I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you." I´m yet to delve into this myself, but it makes perfectly sense to me, so I would like to bring it in here.
Back to nonresistance, I´ve had two specific practises in my life that mirrors what resistance and nonresistance can do: Constellationwork and Theatresports. In constellationwork what we often see is that what is blocking progress in any situation is something that the client has been unable/unwilling to see or feel fully, whether it be an illness, or something painful that happened in the past. There are often good reasons for this, because by being present with what is and what was might reconnect us with pain, judgement and old beliefs of powerlessness, being unprotected, and fear of being unloved and isolated. Release comes when what is can be accepted and taken into the heart as it was and is, which is really nonresistance, nonjudgement, and nonattachment in practice. And when this happens, life can once again start to flow more freely.
In theatresports one of the important rules is "to get yourself in trouble". A natural tendency in us would be to avoid trouble, walk away from the discomfort of challenge and the unknown - but in theatresports nothing interesting ever happens down that route. And somehow this can be applied to life too. By staying in the comfort zone, avoiding change, and also avoiding the discomfort of our own feelings, we´re not open to transformation and the magic and excitement of life.
This takes me back to the beginning of this blogpost. I´ve been practicing staying present with whatever happens in my body these days, without engaging my mind too much, not to make up new stories of something old. And somedays I´ve found that the discomfort I´ve felt has come from avoidance/resistance about being honest about what is and also my deepest yearnings and needs. Being able to stay present with this has enabled me to "cut the chase" more often and get into action, even when that is lying down if that is what is needed, or starting a blog. And also I feel more at peace with myself, at peace with the moment. And for as long as it lasts, this moment lived in me seems open and full of possibilities.
So today I warmly recommend - get yourself in trouble, be your own best friend and stay by your own side, give yourself and the moment full attention and acceptance, and through it you will open doors to new freedom and confidence (trust) and possibilities - freedom, confidence and possibilities that really have been yours all along! We are all channels of light, and when we drop the resistance and accept what is in every moment, saying yes to being who we are, our light, or life energy if you like, can easier flow through us and from us. Then we can have more presence in meeting with other beings of light, too, in acceptance, openness and freedom - so let shine the light of who you are! Namasté!
McCafferty, Doreen (2014) Ho’oponopono healing - Holistic Wellness From Within [internet] Tilgjengelig fra: http://holisticlifestyleconsulting.com/ho-oponopono-healing/ [lest: 08.07.2014]
Tolle, E. (1997) Det er nå du lever, Trondheim, Damm.
Tolle, E. (2005) A New Earth, London, Penguin Books.